Now, many of you know my thoughts on the boob feeding situation. I am all for it. I look forward to giving it a try with Critter2, but I am not a bad mom for allowing formula supplements in, or if Critter2 is not a boob gal switching altogether. I know the debate is long going that "breast is best", but in reality just providing your child with the proper nutrition is really what is best. Boob or bottle.
So back to this doll. I have no problem with an older sibling picking up a baby doll and mimicking mommy. And who cares if the older sibling is male or female, its a learning process for our tots. I, do however, think this doll is ridiculous on a number of levels.
The website boasts information about why this doll is a must have. One particular section frustrates me to no end. The section entitled "Why little girls NEED to learn to breastfeed." It leads with "little girls need to learn to breastfeed". No, they don't. They need to learn from young adulthood proper nutrition and the proper way to get it for themselves and to provide it for their child. However at 3 and 4 years old all I want my child to do is eat the peas off her plate and play pretend diaper changes with her doll, i expect no more and no less. She is a CHILD. Mimicking my behavior is one thing. Allowing a baby doll to suckle her 4 year old undeveloped woman areas is a little un-called for.
Allowing little girls to grow up their entire life with the knowledge that ONLY breast is best is horrific. What if the little girl grows up and her milk does not come in post birth? What if she is sick and can not breastfeed? What if, God forbid, her child is ill and breast milk, or bottle milk for that matter, is just not an option at the beginning?
I know from personal experience as well as watching my personal friends go through torture that not being able to breastfeed your child because of situations out of your control, with the constant demand of society to do so, it only leads to feelings of inadequacy. Instead of feeling glorious about this new life your are holding, loving and nurturing with the nutrients it needs to grow into a thriving adult via formula, a woman is then forced to sob and feel like a failure because she is unable to provide "breast is best" to her new baby. When really she is providing what is best to her child, nutrition is the best way possible! She is a fabulous mom, but not by society standards.
Instead of teaching our children that only one way is best, let us teach them the overall goal and show them various options to reach that goal. Let us allow them to use their minds and imaginations and pick up their own baby dolls and mimic mommy breast feeding or bottle feeding. Let them build these concepts on their own and learn and ask questions and investigate childhood through the eyes of a child. Then as their parent is is our duty to provide them with ALL the information they need to be better informed individuals as they grow into adults. Let us allow them to be children and not thrust more and more adult centered behaviors upon them, no matter how natural it may or may not be.
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I saw this doll on the news a few days ago. Toy companies sure do push the limits sometimes.
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I've struggled with breastfeeding so much with all three boys. they have all been supplemented to some degree, Judah the least since he's a total boob man. Ikind of hate the "breast is best" stance, it makes it almost unattainable. Like organic is best...but not always affordable for all people. I like the "breast is normal" theory better, because i think in terms of making it more accepted, it is "normal".
ReplyDeleteI think the language surrounding the whole breastfeeding debate is really loaded. It's pretty much all or nothing. People say they love and respect moms who use formula because they have no alternatives, but hate the formula companies with a heated passion. As I see it, you can't have both of those things. If you hate the product i'm using to feed my child, you obviously hate the way I'm feeding my child....so don't tellme you love and respect me. It's condescending.
So I breastfeed,and a I supplement with formula. I think there needs to be more women standing up and saying- Hey! I do BOTH! It's not one way or the other, the two can and do coexist. You don't hear it a lot, the lactivists don't like it when you say that.
all that said, I don't dislike the doll. If I had daughters, I'd want them to grow up knowing it is normal- even if it doesn't work. I'd hate for them to have so much working against them if they did want to breastfeed eventually and I think when we talk about it and nurse in public and have dolls like this it's one step in the direction of people aking notice that it IS normal and not somethign that needs to be hidden away in the bathroom.
(I know you don't think it should be hidden away in a bathroom, lots of people do though :))
Agreed! That's just sick. I was fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed, however my friend [who had her daughter the day before me] couldn't. Her milk just didn't come in. And I can't believe how many stuck up moms looked at her like she was cheating her daughter of something. We even had women tell her "you know, breast is best" or "Don't you know that formula will give your child a lower IQ and a bad immune system? Don't you care at all?"
ReplyDeleteSome people are just so rude, and it hurt my friend so much. It was painful for her to suffer everyone's judgement. It's a shame.
I actually think you're thinking about this the wrong way. I went into pregnancy and had my son having very little knowledge about breast feeding. I saw an LC 3 times a week and she never bothered to teach me anything. My mom does not think it's proper to talk about that stuff. Had I known what I know now maybe my son could have been breastfed longer then 5 weeks. I don't think we should teach "ONLY BREASTFEED AND IF YOU CAN'T YOU FAIL" BUT I DO think we should be teaching our children how breast feeding works, that it is BEST for the baby, but that there are healthy and safe alternatives if it doesn't work out. I think SOCIETY is wrong in sexualizing breast feeding. My aunt let her kids watch the movie babies and explained to them how women of other cultures dress and feed their babies. Our girls are being brought up to believe that our breasts are for sex because that's all they see, because people HIDE breast feeding. I know so many girls who refused to even try breast feeding because they view it as a sex act. So honestly I think we all should raise our girls with them thinking breasts are for BABY first, and our husbands second. Not the other way around.
ReplyDeleteWould I buy this doll? No lol. But would I encourage and inform? Yes. She wants to know about where babies come from breast feeding is going to be in that talk.