**Just wanted to share this with you. A post I wrote many weeks ago. Enjoy! HA!**
Pregnancy. It ain't all pretty. People seem to have this false illusion that you are a glowing ball of cheer for 9 months and walk away at the end with a cute bundle of blue or pink. WHATEVER!
Let me just tell you about my glowing ball of cheer morning...and mind you I am typing this before 10 am!!! I am 7 weeks pregnant today. A glorious HOT and HUMID freaking FALL day in October. I feel like I have been riding a roller coaster for the last week and half at full speed, stomach flips and lurches constantly. Now think about that for a moment. Pretend you are riding a roller coaster and feel the urge to purge pretty much nonstop. Now also pretend nothing is wrong with you. smile and carry on with your day changing the nastiest poopie diapers a toddler could ever spawn, picking and dropping kids off at school, playing with said toddler and kids, cooking and cleaning for the kids, yada yada you catch my drift. Moving on.
So this morning brought on a lovely little barf session as soon as I rolled out of bed. Fabulous. Then its time to get breakfast for the tot and wait for the big kid rentals to show up so we can head to school. Pretty much goes without a hitch, just nauseous. Baby DIVA and I arrive home and she finds it necessary to conjure up the worst two explosive poops ever conceived by a toddler within a 30 minute period. I am telling you Haz-mat should have been called. Barf session 2 and 3 successfully handled.
And then Baby DIVA decided that today of all days was going to be the day she wanted to play the feed momma day. FUN! So she feeds me a hot dog she was munching on. Yes I feed my kid cold hot dog wienies, sue me, she loves them and some days its the only thing I can get her to eat. Get over it. So we go about the game. Momma feeling like she is gonna hurl from the roller coaster quease, Baby DIVA feeding hot dog bites on spoon to me, giggling. Cute moments actually.
But then the there was a jolt and the roller coaster took off a full speed, and so did I sprinting as fast as my fluffy queasy body can. I didn't make it. You know what I mean, right? Barf session #4. And since I didn't make it the mere sight of my "miss" caused barf session 5 and 6. GROSS.
There was a moment during session 5 or perhaps 6 that I caught a glance of Baby DIVA standing behind me, poor little gal. The look on her face was pure disgust, and she quickly left the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Peace momma!
A quick cleaning later Baby DIVA re joins me in the bathroom only to humor me by standing over the toilet pretending to throw up. AWESOME!!
Glowing balls of cheer, PUH-LEASE! 33 weeks to go...