Losing an organ

I think you fabulous readers will recall my wonderful tale of a rotten gallbladder discovery. And if not, feel free to jump over HERE and read about my naked ambulance ride as this discovery came about. It is no secret that Critter2's pregnancy was horrible to my body. High blood pressure, migraines, barfing and GALLBLADDER attacks.

Ummmm Hello!!! Is it not enough that pregnant women barf their guts up, swell into giant bubbles of fat, and then go through horrendous 36 hours of labor (oh wait that is just me!). Nope, not enough. It seems that there is a trigger of sorts with the hormone surges of pregnancy that allow the gallbladder to kick into overdrive and start flailing about sending its pregnant host into severe pains. And the super cool factor in this is you are PREGNANT. The only cure is surgery to remove the nasty little organ, and that usually doesn't happen until post delivery. AWESOME. So pregnant momma's everywhere with this problem can then add severe abdominal/back pain that is nearly unbearable to the fun list of pregnancy ouchies. And if you are like me, and not wanting to add and "extra" chemicals to your unborn, you will suffer through for months with no pain meds. Dumb perhaps, but a personal choice. Dumb. But I did it. She better do great things in life! Kidding.

Now here we are 3 weeks post my delivery of Critter2. I have been trying to hit 6 weeks post, so that my body has time to heal from birth and then I can attack it again with surgery, but it is not going to happen. Last weekend I had an 8 1/2 hour gallbladder attack. Followed by another attack when I was ALONE and driving with my 2 daughters the following day. And several more this week. There attacks are coming with heightened frequency and pain levels. I have reached my breaking point. I can not make it through the pain anymore. It IS unbearable.

So, I chatted up the docs and we have my surgery on the calendar 3 weeks early. THIS WEDNESDAY! Hooray! I can not wait. I am so looking forward to ripping this nasty little organ out of my body and living pain free again while eating yummy fatty fat foods (on occasion of course).

I was concerned about having surgery and breastfeeding. Will Critter2 be okay not have boob for a while? Will she continue to nurse? Will she be effected by the anesthesia or post surgery pain meds? All of this has been weighing on my mind. But in all reality I can not survive the pain anymore so if Critter2 refuses the boob post surgery then so be it. I have to do this to be a healthy mom for her.

But, that being said, I did some research and asked some Dr folk about the issues I have. The surgery is short and sweet only an hour or so and is outpatient. I can nurse Critter2 right up until I get ready to go under. Some people say I can nurse in recovery. I'm not really down with that, momma needs to enjoy the free drug ride for a good 10 or 20. :) But I definitely will be able to nurse later in the day. The anesthesia will be adjusted because I am a breast feeding momma and the post surgery meds will also be adjusted to work with breastfeeding. I also am consulting with my pediatrician to verify all this information. AND I am pumping like a fool to have a nice supply of "grub" for Critter2 while I am out of commission.

So there it is. I am getting the gallbladder out and should be able to continue boob juicing my tiny tot without any complications. Hot Diggity Dog!! Literally, soon I may be able to eat a yummy hot dog!

It happens.

PPD.

Many people out there may have no idea what those 3 little letters stand for. But, I am betting pretty much every mother out there immediately identifies those 3 little letters. PPD=Post Partum Depression. 3 little letters. 1 Big problem.

I, never in a million years thought that I, a Pink Haired happy go lucky, always see the positive spin on everything person would ever be attacked by a depressive wave of emotions. And without warning, really. But, I have. I have not "Crossed over" to the scary depressive side by any means, but I am battling with the hormonal disturbances in my normal world that bring me to tears because my apple pie is slightly lopsided. Or because Critter2 doesn't nurse well during one of her feedings, the PPD immediately steps up quicker than reality and sends me automatically into feelings of failure and sobs. Knowing in reality that Critter2 is probably just not hungry or that my pie tipped over on the plate and tastes just fine. It makes no difference the cause, the outcome is always the same. "I am a loser, a failure...sobs ensue." Then I feel stupid and wipe my tears and move on.

Awesome. It is bizarre because I know better. I know that I am a great mother. I know I worship the air my children breathe and do everything humanely possible to give them both a life more grand than my wildest dreams can concoct. And yet still I succumb to the wrath of the birthing hormones and cry, feel "blue" and find it a battle each day to brush my teeth (just kidding, I always brush no matter how many sobs it takes). The division within my soul, of the reality versus irrationality of the hormone surges is a battle that is indescribable. Knowing the rational way to behave and doing so, but feeling the irrational pangs of sadness is unreal. Especially when looking at the most beautiful face of your 3 week old daughter and holding the hands and singing with my adorable 2.5 year old daughter. I find myself in wonderment as to how I can be sobbing when I have been blessed with such perfection, twice.

But it happens. It is real. It is not some crazy fake brush off new moms have devised to run off friends, family and unsuspecting husbands. I will admit, before being a mother, before experiencing it I half heatedly thought that it was made up. I loudly admit to everyone that I was WRONG. It is a real life emotional roller coaster that sneaks in post birth and taps you on the shoulder, making you jump unsuspectingly.

I share this with you today because I want it to be known that it does happen. It happens to even the happiest moms, the most stable moms, the most put together moms. It has no boundaries, it effects all people. And since I know this is going on with me, I reach out to my friends and family and let them know what I am feeling. And although they may think I am nutty, they hold out their hands in support and help me through. That is what friends and family do. I only hope other mothers that feel the effects of PPD can reach out and ask for help if need be.

2 weeks later

Hey guess what?

I HAD A BABY!!!!!!

36 hours of labor later, She arrived!! I never looked better! hahahaha

Excited Big Sis Diva!

That's right. Critter2 made her long awaited BIG Debut. A little early, but she is strong and kickin'.

And guess what else? she is TWO WEEKS OLD TODAY!!

Yep, we have been busy adjusting to the way of life with two tots in the household. It is pretty wild! Fun and wonderful but takes some adjusting! So please bear with me over the coming weeks as my posts might be sparse. I have many, many wonderful things to say, but when I snag a moment alone, honestly I go pee alone or take a cat nap. You know, life in the motherhood!

I will tell you that Critter2 has a real name. I will say it once here on the blog just because it is beautiful but then please help me by keeping her nickname Critter2 rockin in the interwebs. She has entered the world with the fabulous name:

She is so tiny! We hope she grows into her hat by college graduation!

One proud daddy: after 36 hours of labor!!

Weighing in at 5 pounds 1 ounce and 18 inches long at her birth on May 4 at 120am. And at her 2 week appointment yesterday she is growing and weighed in at 5 pounds 8 ounces and 19 inches long. Grow baby Grow!

High Traffic leads to high pre-term birth rate?

Of course as I sit here terrified of impending pre term birth of Critter2 what do I do? Not look at cute happy youtube videos or read my e-books. Nope. I surf the web for all kinds of scary stories of preterm birth. MOMS. We are masochists I tell you! Crazed people who always have to know the worse possible outcome...but only so we can be supermoms and be super prepared, right? I happened across this article about a connection between high traffic roads and preterm birth and thought it interesting. Personally, I do not think that traffic levels play a factor, all by itself. But I do think that people living in higher population volume areas could be at risk for a variety of factors. Pollution, stress and exposure to illness to name a few. However, this study, although interesting does not make me think that the freeway 4 miles from me is going to make my babies come any sooner than they should. In fact it may slow them down given the crazy traffic here in the Houston area. KIDDING!! What do you think?

Bed Rest tot crafting: Letter P

Reading books. Watching TV. Singing nursery rhymes. Learning letters. Sure these are all fun things to do with your tot. But if you know me, I always have to be up to something "Different" and exciting when it comes to entertaining kiddos. Being on bed rest has definitely put a damper in my idea of ways to have fun with Baby DIVA. Have no fear; Baby DIVA and I have figured out to have some fun and we are here to tell what works while "butt sitting" and what doesn't.

First off, on bed rest, you are going to need someone to gather your supplies for you. Luckily since you have nothing better to do, you will have plenty of time to map out a very detailed list of what you will need and how you are going to use it. Pick you project, jot down what you will need and have your "bed rest slave" gather your items and store them near where you stash your booty all day. Don't feel guilty about it either, friends and family are there to help and this helps you keep your baby safe and your toddler happy!

I decided that each week, while we are doing "bed rest crafting" we will pick a letter and a color. Then every activity during the week will have something to do with that letter and/or that color. This week we chose the letter P and the color purple. I found a great website that enabled me to print out all kinds of coloring pages and craft templates that can easily be done butt sitting.

First up for us, Baby DIVA and I had a Picnic on a Purple blanket in our Pretty living room and crafted a Princess out of the letter P. Scary huh? Baby DIVA had a blast. I didn't have to get up. She learned something educational and had fun AND she couldn't even tell that momma was doing this via mandatory bed rest orders. Perfect in my mind!!

Princess P pieces PLUS

This gorgeous Baby DIVA smile PLUS

Some skilled tot crafting EQUALS

The PRETTIEST Princess P EVER!!!

So whats next? Well we have pigs, parrots, and and pajama parties to entertain us!

Critter2 Update

Hello my friends.

32 weeks complete and we are working on the 33rd! Getting closer and closer! But still on strict bed rest. Boo! Lame. But hey, it is what is best for the beast of a babe cooking in my womb!

Yesterday we saw the Dr. My BP is staying in a safe range on the meds. I lost yet another pound, Butt sitting. SERIOUSLY??? If only I could do that when I'm not pregnant. I had another gallbladder attack this last weekend thanks to some oil that snuck into my food, but we survived just fine. Diet restrictions still in place. Fluid consumption still in place. And Critter2 has demonstrated her high maintenance ways by doing a lovely party trick. She has flipped head up, into a Breech position. I thought she was super active this weekend. And sure enough the Dr confirmed it yesterday that she is head up butt sitting down, just like her butt sitting momma. Coolness.

I have some websites and information packets on attempting to flip a babe in utero head done, naturally. But I have also been advised to do so while monitoring my pressures as the act of babe flipping in Pre Eclampsia patients cause cause a rise in blood pressure. Super cool! Any tips or tricks you might have to share are welcomed on this, I really appreciate ideas and input!

I'm still ordered to stay on bed rest for the duration. Only up to use the restroom, shower and eat. But I have been granted a pass to walk myself to the backyard and sit there. And even though we are already hitting summer like temps outside, it is lovely to be out there and watch my Baby DIVA play, breathe in the fresh air, and picture two baby girls playing in the grass in the very near future!

So that is where we stand...or rather butt sit. We head back in next Monday for another Biophysical ultrasound and checkup. Until then I am off to leave a permanent imprint of my butt in the couch. I leave you with the adorable mug shot of Critter2!!!

We are home, bedrested, but home!

After a little over a week in the hospital, I have finally found my way home. YAY! Baby DIVA is a little perturbed at this situation. While sitting in momma's lap she wants to know why we can not still video chat momma. Hmmmm....

I have pre-eclampsia and I am on strict home bed rest. I am still on blood pressure medication to keep the pressures down, but they are holding. I am on a strict diet and have to rest rest rest. Before leaving the hospital we had numerous ultrasounds and found that my amniotic fluid levels were low. Nothing that a huge load of iv fluids couldn't correct, but this will need to be monitored.

On a super exciting positive note, the ultrasounds also showed Critter2 to be pushing 4.5 pounds. She is a BEAST! And thanks to the steroid shots last week, her little lungs are "breathing" in womb juice. We watched her do tons of breathing exercises in utero and swallow and play and just her general perfectness. In the event of an early delivery, she is looking fabulous!

A problem that I have run into is how to have fun with Baby DIVA while sitting booty on the couch or in bed. I have someone here with me because I am not allowed to lift Baby DIVA or chase her around, and that helps. But in all reality I still want to interact and have fun with my own kid. So, I put my thinking cap on and have gone through our never ending pile of fun activities and will testing them out with Baby DIVA from here on out. As I can, I will be posting what works well and what doesn't. So any other bed rest momma's out there can still smile and enjoy the time with their own kids despite the suckiness of bed rest!

Laugh your way through labor??

So many of my friends these days have decided to go the "natural" way in childbirth. Not meaning just birthing without a c-section or induction, no, they are all for going completely drug free, enduring the pain, experiencing the "ring of fire" and bringing children into the world "old style" if you will.

I am not that kind of girl. Sorry. I do not like pain. But I do want to make sure my child is safe as well as that I am safe. All medical procedures and drugs do have some potential side effects and all that is to be considered and the outcomes weighed against pros and cons. I personally have chosen to go the route of the epidural, and I am happy to have it take its place as soon as my Dr will allow it. The earlier the better, makes me smile.

But the other day I came across this article offering up another option for childbirth. An option that was dropped from circulation many years ago but seems to be making a bit of a comeback. This is an option open to women who may not want "drugs" but need a little something to help take the edge off when the contractions and pain become so intense they think they are going to rip in half, but also wears off quickly enough they can go on and bust through the "ring of fire" just as they intended and enjoy a non drug induced first few moments with their new baby.

This option is laughing gas. Yep. It appears that Nitrous Oxide is making a comeback into the delivery room. Instead of screeching in pure pain, moms can now giggle their way through the horrendous pain and then moments later be snuggled down with a new life, the precious baby they have been waiting for. I personally would still like my epidural, but think this is kind of nice option for those moms who don't want full medications throughout childbirth, but need a little something to help them through. What do you think? would you utilize laughing gas? Are you against it? Why or why not?

Emotions of Bedrest

Bed rest.

Not words that a mother of a toddler wants to hear, ever, unless it is said mother telling toddler to go to BED and REST. The idea of sitting still and caring for a child in order to protect an unborn babe is just horrific. How can a mom explain to a 2 year old that mommy can not play right now, or hold you, or lift you, because of your baby sister? Toddlers do not get it. Shoot, mommies don't get it.

And then you wake up one day and find not only are you on bed rest, but you are on hospital bed rest, away from your toddler, only able to see her via the Internet technology of video chat. And although fabulous that we have this technology, still heart wrenching. And Momma is again forced to try and explain to a toddler that I can't hold you, hug you, kiss you right now because of the "phantom" baby sister whom you don't have the ability to comprehend right now needs momma to be still. Heart wrenching.

The flood of emotions has been unreal for me this week. I think I have just abut hit every emotion there is. Guilt, happiness, sadness, fear, shear terror, relief, anger, excitement, you name it, I have had it. And all at the same time too. Cool feelings, I tell you. I found myself sick with guilt because my darling Baby DIVA has to be without her momma for a while. And at the same moment I house this guilt inside me, I also house this relief that I am doing everything "mommypossible" to protect Critter2. Seriously, its bizarre to house both relief and guilt in the same instance. I hate to be apart from Baby DIVA, but knowing she is safe at home with her Grandma's and H4L also enables me to relax and provide a safe place for Critter2. And then more guilt sets in when I feel this relief because I also feel like I am taking away from my Baby DIVA.

And then there is the sadness because I have to be away from home. Away from my husband. I miss laying beside him and sleeping each night. Well, sort of. Pregnancy insomnia more or less has been hanging out for a while and I really just lay there and listen to him breathe all night, but nonetheless, here in the hospital all I hear is the beep beep of fetal monitors throughout the floor. I am saddened that I cant be home with him to share in the final weeks of this pregnancy with our daughter.

Fear. This is another big one that is running wild this week. I have several levels of fear. First, I fear for the safety of Critter2. We are still very early at 30 weeks 5 days, and if she has to be born now, NICU is a must. She will be tiny. Complications may present. And it is all out of my control. All I can do is give her my love and strength and stand by her side and will her to be strong and grow. And of course hope that Critter2 stays put and grows as long as possible her her womb cooker, eliminating these fears for all of us who love and care for her.

But my fear is not only aimed at the safety of Critter2's well being. I also fear for Baby DIVA and the repercussions of having momma gone for weeks in the hospital bed rested. Or having a baby sister born early that is in NICU. I am fearful about how I will be able to provide Baby DIVA with all the love and devotion she needs while I also provide Critter2 with the love and devotion she needs. Will Baby DIVA understand? Am I capable of being the best mom possible to her, even when I am terrified for the life of Critter2? I am fearful that I might fail my precious Baby DIVA and Critter2. I only want the best for both my girls in every aspect of their life. Can I do this?

And let us not forget my wonderful H4L. I worry about him too. How difficult it must be to be a dad. Especially when you are scared for your child and your wife, and still try and be strong for both when you really just want to sit down and weep. I count myself incredibly lucky that I have such a loving husband that he is a rock for me all the while he is going through the exact same fears and as me. I really couldn't be luckier!

And despite all these negative emotions I also find myself excited and joyful. My family is growing. Baby DIVA is going to be a big sister. I am going to be a mother to my second daughter. H4L is going to be the father to his second daughter. We are bringing a miracle into the world and it is such a blessing. Our family is thriving despite these complications in the getting there. I dream of future days and see H4L, Baby DIVA, myself and Critter2 laughing and smiling and goofing off and I feel surges of happiness and love. It overwhelms the fear and brings a smile to my face. Above all else this emotion supersedes them all. no matter what I am feeling, sad, angry, scared, I am incredibly excited and in love with both my children and my husband...and now have plenty of time to think about it.

A Big HELLO from hospital bedrest!!

Well I have gone and done it. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! I should really change my name. Yesterday I had another "attack", as you recall my Naked Ambulance shenanigans from last week. Well, I stayed home and H4L distracted Baby DIVA so that I could scream through the pain. 2 hours later the episode wrapped up and I came back to reality. And yes, I did get naked again. I don't know what my problem is...but at least this time it was in the privacy of my own bedroom!

So this morning (Monday) I headed in to my OB appt with Dr. K. I told him about my wild ride last week and about yesterdays attack. He wanted me to consult with a super surgeon about this gallbladder issue. Then we discovered some protein in my urine and a blood pressure of 160/108 "ish". No more talking. I was being admitted to the hospital. Pre-Eclampsia the diagnosis.

I got to L & D and immediately got a room. Many tests commenced. The surgeon showed up to consult about my gallbladder. I was put on NPO "in case" which I was not impressed with. A u/s of the gallbladder was ordered...again. The neurology team came to consult, only because of my prior autoimmune issues. Labs were drawn, questions were asked. theoretical were tossed around. But my dr assured me as of right now, Critter2 and myself were safe and in not significant danger.

My bp staying elevated and the discovery of stones led the dr to inform me that Critter2 will be coming early. I was given the first of 2 steroid shots to help mature her lungs. NICU came to consult to tell me what to expect if she is born this week, next week and up to 34 weeks (the gestational age Baby DIVA was born at). I cried. I am scared. But Critter2 is measuring super big and is healthy and active, all positives for a possible preemie.

As the day progressed more test results came in and my liver enzymes were found to not be as they should, indicative or pre-eclampsia. Awesome. So I spent another long, long, long time only being allowed to eat clear foods waiting until another liver test. Not cool man! i survived on jello and vegetable broth today. Me! a HIPPO pregnant gal. Uncool. At this point I was told I most definitely will be here in the hospital until Critter2 is born. Whether that be tomorrow or in June. (and as always we ALL know how medical conditions work, this is all subject to change at any moment)

The results of my gallbladder ultrasound came back and this time (3rd times the charm) showed that hidden inside all that "sludge" was lots of little stones. Answer to the horrid pain! SCORE. The surgeon, although skilled in 3rd trimester gallbladder removal, would like to wait until post baby birth if we can. I am in total agreement with this. Right now it is uncomfortable, but is not causing problems for Critter2. Id like to keep it that way. Hopefully rest and diet can keep the attacks away and we can coast to delivery.

Baby DIVA came up to see me and bring me big hugs and kisses. I showed her my IV and told her momma has to stay here for a little while. She was all smiles and giggles. Later this evening before she went to bed, she called momma and I "tucked" her in. Then I cried. But she is with H4L and grandma and hopefully will have so much fun she won't even notice me gone!

And this is where we sit tonight. High BP. Critter2 bouncing around a healthy little gal. Bed rested and trapped in the hospital until further notice. But honestly, I will do just about anything to get Critter2 to a safe and healthy weight and delivery. So, although it breaks my heart to be away from Baby DIVA and my H4L, I will lay here, quiet, still and calm, and let this baby cook as long as we can!

Naked ambulance ride!!!

Only me. These random weird things only happen to me. SERIOUSLY! Let me share with you my wonderful Thursday afternoon.

Baby DIVA is sporting a fever. We have had a small outbreak of Hand, foot and Mouth in our social circle, so one can assume the spike in fever from Baby DIVA yesterday of 103 plus could only be this lovely childhood illness plaguing us, right? We settled in to "ride" it out today at home. Inside, Motrin, fluids, backyardigans, fun filled day for us. I was feeling pretty good myself and although I don't like the circumstances, enjoyed the snuggle time with Baby DIVA.

I took the opportunity to "refresh the pink" aka bleach my roots and prepare to dye my hair, while Baby DIVA napped. Refreshing the pink is a 3 step process for me. Bleach roots. Dye the pink portion, dye the under hairs black. long process. So it is usually done over the period of a whole day. So step one concluded around 1230 during nap. Baby DIVA awoke promptly at 1pm and we had lunch, followed by snuggles. Bleach roots air drying, just FYI.

A little after 130ish I felt the gallbladder pain I have come to know all to well beginning to sneak up on me. I thought to myself "Oh poo" the next 30 minutes are gonna suck. I hate this pain. Well, boy was that an understatement. The pain came on with the quickness. I went from nothing to pain so severe I couldn't breathe. I tried walking, laying down, drinking water, contorting myself into awkward positions, sitting, everything, nothing was working. I think it was anywhere from 15-30 minutes before I decided that nothing could be done to stop this pain. The pain just increased and air became harder and harder to grasp no matter what I did.

Baby DIVA quickly realized that something was going on too. She begin to follow my pacing moves asking "o tay momma, o tay"? She would hug me and kiss me and pat me and was right by my side. This broke my heart. I did everything I could to stay calm and tried to tell her through garbled breaths that Momma was okay. Really, I was scared shitless. I began to get really hot. My face flushed. Air was hard to grab. The pain grew in intensity and I felt that I might blackout any moment. Fear for my child overwhelmed me. What is going to happen if I pass out. My 2 year old can not be left alone. She cant see me like this. Panic.

I went down the list of close friends and family. No one really to contact. Shit! I called my mom and tried to tell her what was wrong. She was headed my way before we hung up, however she is a good half hour drive at least. I tried to wait. The pain grew. Baby DIVA questioned me more, "o tay momma, momma o tay"?. All the while caressing me, showing me her sweet side, not her 2 year old monster side.

Out of shear fear I finally just made the adult decision and dialed 911. It was difficult to talk, but I managed to tell them who I was, where I was, and that I was alone with my 2 year old. Moments later help arrived. The pain grew more and more to such an intensity, death seemed to be the only thing that could stop the pain. The paramedics loaded me up, grabbed Baby DIVA and some toys and we were out there door.

I guess at this point I realized my daughter was safe, in the comforting arms of the lady paramedic, sitting close to me, subconscious realization though, as the pain grew more and I begin to scream. I have never felt such intense pain in my life, not even during the birth of Baby DIVA. I begged for the paramedics to make it stop. Pleaded with them. No luck. Then the nice paramedic took my hand and said I do not want you to panic, but it appears you are in labor. Do not be alarmed when we arrive at the hospital. More panic. I'm only 30 weeks. NOOOOOO! This cant be happening.

Terror and panic and PAIN swept over me. Honestly, I'm not sure where my mind went at this time. The pain and terror took over and I think my screaming may have been heard across the country at this point. I also found myself incredibly hot. For some reason I needed to be naked because the clothes were just too hot. So I stripped. Right there in the back of the ambulance. YES, I DID. I then demanded cold towels and ice packs because it was so hot and I was in so much pain. At one point reality hit and I looked up. I realized i was sitting up in the back of an ambulance being transported to a hospital butt ass naked, momma boobs flopping in front of the windows for the entire world to see. Pain hit again and I no longer cared. Free Boob flop show for all afternoon commuter courtesy of me.

We arrive at the hospital. I overheard the paramedics on the phone several times during the ride telling the hospital my "contractions" were less than 2 minutes apart. What freaking contractions? There are no contractions it is just constant throbbing pain man. The paramedic tells me he is going to cover me up with a sheet, the other paramedic says "i don't think she cares". We roll in the hospital. Me still sitting up NAKED, SCREAMING, sheet falls, boobs flopping everywhere, I roll up into the ER, loud and obnoxious and in so much pain. I bet I was quite a sight!

The ER is by-passed and off we go to Labor and delivery. The pain is tortuous. So much so that at this point I have no care as to where my 2 year old Baby DIVA is. I'm taken to a room. Tons of doctors and nurses swarm me. Someone tells me they are with the preemie team, another tells me he is a Dr, another tells she is gonna do this and that. I don't care. Make this pain stop. The nurses help me get a grip on my breathing. Help me cover my momma boobs with cool towels and work on getting me to calm down. They have skills because I was demon pink. Not happy, in pain and NAKED!

H4L and my mom arrive. Someone says Baby DIVA is safe. I thought, "oh ya i have a child, shit!" Tests are done. Evaluations are made. Pain is incredible. Finally I hear someone say they are going to give me some pain medication. Relief flushes over me as I hear this news between these death pains. And then, just like that, the pain stops...before they even give me the medicine. Literally like a light switch has been turned off. It stopped almost as quickly as it came on. I am able to catch my breath and breathe again. I am able to calm myself down and think clearly. My body temperature drops. Critter2 is safe. No contractions. Heat rate is perfect. She is a little pissed off but looks perfect.

Hours of constant pain have finally ceased. It is only at this point I begin to recall that I just sped down the main street in my town NAKED in the back of an ambulance with half dyed hair, 30 weeks pregnant screaming like a crazy woman. Seriously? Mortifying. I stripped myself down naked in front of total strangers and acted a fool without alcohol? :)

I immediately begin to apologize to anyone and everyone. I fret about wanting to hunt down the paramedics and thank them (which I will be doing this weekend, somehow or someway) for dealing with my afternoon insanity. Evaluations are made and I am monitored and told I can go home. On strict full bed rest until I see my regular OB on Monday morning. Awesomeness. But, Critter2 is safe and sound. I'm okay for now. No definitive answers were made. Many tests and many results but all to be looked at by mt regular OB before decisions are to be made. So as long as we are safe I can handle sitting on my butt all weekend. I might even couch surf naked, for old time sake. :)

Oh and did I mention that during all of this my blood pressure is 122/79! HA! How about that? So how was your day?

Pressure washer nesting

H4L is on a mission to purchase me a pressure washer and exterior house paint. WHY??

Because I am a crazy lunatic nesting woman who can not get organized enough. Seriously, as we flew through the 2nd trimester, dropped the barfs off, unloaded the every other day migraines and gained massive amounts of energy as we continued to drop weight, I have become a pregzilla in a new form. I CAN NOT stop "nesting". I am organizing everything. Labeling everything. Putting everything in its rightful spot. Cleaning every crevice in our home that might be lurking a tiny fragment of dust or dirt that could only be seen by a microscope. I am a nut. And, its not enough. nope. I am not being satisfied at all by this clean organizing craving. I have now moved on to updating every aspect of our home. I did not have these intense urges with Baby DIVA. Perhaps the hospital bed rest played a factor in Baby DIVA's nesting period, but I still don't recall this insane desire to fluff my nest.

H4L thinks it is insane. He told me I am going to make him croak with all my Honey do lists and projects. Then he came up with the bright idea of getting me a pressure washer and exterior paint so that i can nest the outside. Nah. Not interested.

I guess you might want to see some of the projects that have been monopolizing my time huh?

Entry Before


Entry During


Entry After


Living area before


Living during


Living after


A little glimpse at my obsession in the closets: this is my crafting closet



Oh and did I mention that the entry and living room make-overs came to a grand total of less than $20 to complete!! Bargains, coupons and sales are amazing, even for an insane nester!! On to my next project...

Fluffin' the Nest

I managed to get some alone time this last weekend. Seriously! An entire Saturday all by my lonesome. H4L loaded up Baby DIVA and left me to my own devices. I didn't even have to ask for this marvelous happening. Nope, he offered it up all by himself. I'm thinking someone wants to get lucky. Just kidding! :) I just have a wonderful husband who can read me like a book and when he sees the horns growing from my head, he knows he needs to take action. Quickly.

So what did I do? I nested, of course! I kid you not; One kid is off with daddy leaving me alone all day and so the other one ramps up the hormones and sends me into nesting mode. JEEZ!!! One might think that I would opt to lay on the couch, work out my arm muscles by channel surfing and possibly take a big snooze. Well, in my perfect imagination that is exactly what I did. But In reality hormones won and I became a slave to my craving of clean.


Anyhow, now that it is all said and done, and my ENTIRE day of ALONE is gone spent scrubbing floors, organizing and labeling anything that I could, and making some space for Critter2 by cleaning out every closet I could get my grubby little hands on, I actually feel grateful. My house is spic and span. It feels awesome to walk into. No stench of poopie pants greets you as you pass the diaper genie because I was just too tired to take the trash out. No mystery piles of paper stacked up in odd places hoping to be sorted someday. All the cabinets and drawers and closets are organized and everything is in its proper place. The shredder has been fed for the month with paperwork that was just about to start growing a nasty fungus called "you better check this pile for anything important, or it might come out to bite you". It feels great. Clean. Organized. Ahhh, until Baby DIVA tap dances on her popcorn snack on my nice clean carpet. The joys of mommahood!


A couple of my prize projects from "Fluffin the Nest" day are my pantry and my stockpile closet. I went through both and cleaned, straightened, tossed out expired and old. I also made myself a running list that can be checked when stockpile ops come about. Also helps me know what I NEED to purchase and what I don't. This is something I have been desperately wanting to do for some time, so I am really glad to have completed this project. Here have a lookey:

Hair stuff stock

Teeth/shave and non Stench stock

My Spice cabinet, organized and each shelf listed for cooking ease

My perfectly organized pantry shelves listed out so I know exactly what we have on hand and where to find it

Pantry view

Maybe I am a big nerd. this might seem crazy to some. But for me it makes me feel great. Gives me structure in the insanity of parenthood and allows me to spend more of my time with my family rather than hunting for items in our home. So yes, that is how I spent my entire free day alone. Giving in to the needs of Critter2 hormones and "Fluffin my nest". Ignoring the fabulous opportunity I had to rest my fluffy pregnant butt on the couch and channel surf Lifetime Television. But I feel good about my choice and will continue to remind H4L how I choose MY friend time for months to come. heehee :)

Tiny toes

Today was a great day! We went in for a growth check of Critter2. She is PERFECT!! We were able to see her little toes and fingers, one by one. Her little leg bones, and arm bones, her kidneys and eyeballs, her brain and lips. We saw her swallowing and flapping her arms like a chicken. We saw her rolling around and "Dancing" about like a wild child. She is amazing. Perfect little babe!

We also met with Dr. K. He is happy with Critter2's growth. I'm still down some weight which is cool. My blood pressure is still elevated but is stable, therefore no bed rest or medicine as of yet. HOORAY! Dr. K is sending me for an ultrasound of my gallbladder which is the cause of the pain I am having, you know, this one, that sent me to L& D last week. We hope to keep the ol' gall in check until I deliver Critter2, then sign me right up for removal of that little gallbladder booger!

Everything went wonderful today. I am tickled that we have good news to share. And so excited about Critter2! And Dr. K found his way to my blog! How about that? My Dr visits my blog! LOVE IT! So if your a checking here Dr. K, HELLO and thanks for everything!

And may I now present you with Critter2's Foot and Fist! In a few short months we will be holding these tiny toes and fingers in our hands!!

The stench of Vicks

Early on in this pregnancy I developed a super nose. I literally could smell the breath on any passersby, the smell of foot while riding in the car with other people, and so many other smells that wafted my way pretty much did me in. Everything was horrid. Nothing smelled good. I could barely even stand to be around myself. The stench of the world was appalling. Standing in line at the grocery store became pure torture.

My mom suggested I put Vicks on my nose. Yes, the smell might be strong, but it would be only one strong smell, A single smell that I could adjust to, she enticed me with this idea. At first I thought she might be crazy. But I gave it whirl anyhow. What did I have to lose? My lunch?...again? What do you know, it worked. The smell was in fact incredibly strong, but it was one stable smell. A single smell I could focus on and not worry about losing my lunch, Er, well that cracker that I nibbled. I was able to take that one smell and engage my mind into keeping me upright and without gagging for at least an hour at a time. MIRACLE!!!

I swear during the first trimester I went through so much Vicks. Wearing it proudly slathered on my nose to help me walk through the house, the grocery store, and the Big Kid pick up line. It was truly a lifesaver, as odd as it may seem. The gooey glow that graced the tip of my face became a welcomed cosmetic feature, and family and friends soon forgot how odd I looked and smelled.

Fast forward to last weekend. I now have a yucky cold that I caught from none other than, BABY DIVA. My nose is a mess. I feel like a giant ball of poo, but as we all know, moms must continue on. So I brought out the Vicks to help my stuffy nose. To help sick mom function and keep the household rolling.

OH MY GOODNESS. Reverse effects. All I could think and feel were the all to familiar moments, only weeks ago, where every smell made me want to hurl. I revisited that feeling of utter and total exhaustion and it was terrible. The stench of the Vicks put me right back into morning sickness mode. The crisp menthol harshly battled my senses, not only clearing the snot but clearly reminding me of those horrible first few weeks of pure disgusting gross early baby making days. Needless to say I let the stench wear off and just allowed my nose to be stuffy. Its a small price to pay!

Do you have any smells that invoke horrible memories from past pregnancies for you?

L&D, poop in the potty and PREGNANCY SUCKS!!!

Wow. What a freaking week. I tell you what, all those people out there that think being a pregnant SAHM is the life and make nasty judgmental comments about these ladies when they see them strolling around the world, just need to come take over my life for one week and then we will see how you feel. And I know you make these comments, because honey I USED to be the one judging and making comments. Boy, I tell you best zip them lips because KARMA is a bitch! If i knew then what I know now...

So lets see where shall I begin this week; at the part where I was covered in poo for 3 days, 8 hours in labor and delivery or perhaps at the point where I finally broke down and put on the granny panties?


Ok lets just go in order. Baby DIVA is still "potty training". And as I have learned as a getting fatter by the moment pregnant chick, this really never ends. (granny pantie story to come) So Baby DIVA took pretty fast to pantie wearing and pee pee in the potty. Poop in the potty, not so much. It became a nightmare. She would alert me, even at 2am via monitor, "Pee Pee Mama", but never would should she show one inkling on interest in alerting me to the dirty doo. She is more of a silent but deadly kind of girl. She slinked away and then would gracefully waltz by and let me inhale my notification.

Have you tried changing poopie panties? It sure isn't pretty, and it is plain out awful when you have a Critter2 tagging along for the ride whirling up your some special tummy gurgles and a very active toddler "telling you how" all the way through the process. Needless to say after 3 days of poopie pantie changes covering me in the doo at least twice a day, I broke down and committed my personal momma failure. I bought the pull ups and went against my original plan and stuck my kid in pull ups for potty training. Sue me! I am PREGZILLA and get to do what I want. I am the MOM!!! Im in charge and I am bigger than a poop turd. TAKE THAT! Wouldn't you know that very same day, Baby DIVA mastered the art of poop in potty, and we have not had a poo in the pants incident since. Awesome.

Moving on.


I caught a bug, along with everyone in this country dealing with the crazy weather. I caught a nasty little bug that brought on the "pregnant" sneezes and the coughs. All the momma's out there are cringing knowing what story is about to unfold now. The newly pregnant and non breeders are about to be privy to some information they never knew they didn't want, but need. I committed the sexy wife sin. (not to mention I am about to commit the TMI sin) I became so tired of sneezing and coughing in the "pregnant" way, that I went and stuffed my pregnant body into those granny panties, you know the ones. I was desperate I tell you, and I know I am not the only one who has reached this point before. And it was such a relief...for a little while at least, until my ego joined up to my desperation. H4L caught a glance at me sporting this new wardrobe accessory and just shook his head. I reminded him, it was HE who put me in this situation.

Moving on.

I had my first trip to L & D this week for Critter2. This is not a place I like to frequent. Really, I am thinking one visit to Labor and delivery is far more than enough, right? With my BP issues with Baby DIVA, I visited L&D all the time. I was hoping to keep Critter2 from falling into that same pattern. No such luck. But, good news is that this trip wasn't for bp issues and we left L&D knowing all is A okay.

I was having incredible pain in my gut. Not something a pregnant lady wants. And then the "Crotch daggers" set in. For those who don't speak pregnant talk, Crotch daggers are my term for contractions. I did the usual routine of lay down, relax, drink water, wait for contractions to stop and NADA. So I called the Dr like a good little patient and off he sent me to L&D. 8 long hours (alone though, without a tot in tow so very privileged boring alone time) many, many blood tests, watching a lady's water break in the waiting room, high blood pressure, hearing Critter2's heartbeat thumping softly in the background, it was determined that I look perfectly fine. Critter2 looks great. And I just need to suck it up and deal with the terrible pain. "its okay you are halfway there, only 20 weeks to go." It is obvious that the L&D Dr that advised me of this as I left, has never been pregnant. Just saying...

So I took my painful tummy home and that is that. We now just have pain. Awesome. Fun. Is it June yet?

Pressure Rising

How exciting it is that we have another wonderful baby girl coming in to our lives. We couldn't be more happy. But seeing Critter2 on the ultrasound screen this week and learning how perfect she is, all her organs look awesome, her weight is fabulous, her lips are beautiful and she is a wiggle little thing; Well that is not all we learned this week.

Nope. We also learned that my blood pressure is already on the rise. We suspected this would be the case with this pregnancy, since Baby DIVA arrived early due to high blood pressure complications and we saw an elevated pressure at my 16 week appointment. But we were not expecting it to hit so early. As of now I am on a "modified bed rest". Basically this is just take it easy, monitor my blood pressure and if it is up I must stay down. Joy. In 3 weeks we go back for another anatomy scan to make sure Critter2 is growing at a superb rate, followed by weekly appointments and ultrasounds for the duration of this pregnancy.

I guess it is bittersweet. We get to see Critter2 progress weekly via womb shot, but it sure is a long time to be "rested", and with a toddler in tow. Dr. K believes we will not make full term and has advised us to make arrangements for full bed rest at home and in hospital now, just in case. He also advised us to prepare ourselves for an early delivery...again.

I am determined to prove him wrong and go to term with this pregnancy. I want Critter2 to be able to "bake" as long as she needs. And I really would like to experience the whole going in to labor on my own phenomena. So say a little prayer for us to keep this blood pressure in check and prove Dr. K wrong by making at least 37 weeks!!!!

Critter 2 is a....

Faked you out!! You have a few more hours to wait!

As you are reading this H4l, baby DIVA and myself are sitting in an ultrasound suite getting a crotch shot view of Critter2!! (thank goodness for set to post on blogs, right). While we spend the day relishing what our new addition will bring in to our world, tons more pink or a sea of blue, I thought we could play a little game here. What do you think Critter2 is?

Here is a view of my belly at 19 weeks:

And here are some of the (old wives tale) symptoms:

Aversion to meat

love sour foods

love salty foods

aversion to sweets

felt like a train ran me down and barfed nonstop weeks 6-11.5

lots of braxton hicks from early on

pizza face YUCK i am in my 30s' for goodness sake!!!

migraines, tons and tons of migraines

tons of baby movement from 14 weeks on, some a bit painful

Baby's Heart rate has been about 150 from the start

Chinese gender prediction says: Girl

I would be happy with either, but a boy would fabulous because then I would be D-O-N-E!!

So what do you think? Any neat tricks out there that you and your family have done to determine gender? Spill it now because later on today I will reveal pink or blue about Critter2!!!! Will you be right?

Ultrasounds unsafe for fetus?

I had my Critter2 Checkup earlier this week. All is well, in case you missed it. But I also found out something surprising. You see, I was trying to pull off and ridiculously fun scam with my Dr. I very sweetly begged him to do an early ultrasound, just a crotch shot of Critter2. That is all I needed. I had already purchased two little onesies, one saying "little brother" one saying "little sister". I also prepared two little gift bags. One decorated in Christmas paper and one a plan old brown paper bag. My intention was to have Dr grant me my wish of a crotch shot ultrasound. Then have the tech place the crotch shot ultrasound picture and the correct onesie in the Christmas paper gift bag and SEAL it tight, without revelaing to me what he/she found. That way Christmas morning I would be able to hand H4L a little gift from Critter2 , and we could find out as a family of 3 what the 4th party to our family is to be.

Well plain FAILED. Dr said no. BOO! Scrooge!

But that is not all he said. He then told me very soon the obstetrics and gynecological association has been doing recent research and will be releasing research very soon pertaining to 3d ultrasounds and the harm they can cause to fetus. In fact he was pretty adamant in his distaste for them even advising me without probing, that he would not sign off on me to go to a private institution for an early ultrasound and he really, really would like me not to be exposed to the 3D ultrasound. REALLY? I thought these 3d ultrasounds were becoming the norm! What harm can the cause. Holy Crap!

I kind of freaked out and begin to worry about ultrasounds and Critter2. I put the topic to one of my mom groups and we were able to debate it out. Pros and Cons. What harm that could be done, if any. Our personal thoughts and feelings on the matter. It helped calm me down but I am still a little un-nerved about the whole deal, as I am a high risk momma and will more than likely receive many ultrasounds throughout my pregnancy, some of which may need to be 3D.

I had a consultation with Dr. Google and turned up relatively nothing pertaining to 3D ultrasounds harming the fetus. In fact most the sites I found, stress that no harm is done in 2D or 3D ultrasounds. I still plan on researching more and seeing what other information I can find. I also am incredibly interested in reading this research that my Doc speaks of, that will be released soon. But while I am on the hunt for information and in the waiting period for the new research release, I thought I would ask you, my readers, for your thoughts, input and stand on the issue.

Do you think 3D ultrasounds are safe? What about 2D? Do you like getting as many ultrasounds as possible during your pregnancy? Would you prefer less? Have you found any information out there in relation to ultrasounds being harmful, whether 2D or 3d? If so please share what you know or the links here. I would love to learn more about this topic.

Critter2 checkup

Critter2 had a little check up yesterday. I heard "his" heartbeat and the doctor and nurse confirmed that I do in fact have a spunky, very wiggly, wild child growing in my tummy! Tell me something I dont know. "He" moves constantly! Everything is proceeding as it should.

These appointments are actually kind of boring, if you know what I mean. You go in, pee in a cup, get your blood pressure checked, Dr comes and and tells you "you are still pregnant" and goes away. See you in a month. Blah!

Critter 2 is doing well but I am starting to display a little bit of pregnancy struggles. My blood pressure is already on the rise. I am now off of salt for the duration of this pregnancy and must monitor my blood pressure and alert the doctor of elevated numbers. Boo. I expected this in later pregnancy since Baby DIVA was induced at 34 weeks because om high Blood pressure, but I did not expect it to climb so early. Oh and I lost some pounds. Go me! Not really, but hey who doesn't like to see the number go down!!

But Critter2 is looking great, and that is the important thing! Also we scheduled our level 2 ultrasound for January 4. Translation: GENDER REVEAL!!!