Wow. What a freaking week. I tell you what, all those people out there that think being a pregnant SAHM is the life and make nasty judgmental comments about these ladies when they see them strolling around the world, just need to come take over my life for one week and then we will see how you feel. And I know you make these comments, because honey I USED to be the one judging and making comments. Boy, I tell you best zip them lips because KARMA is a bitch! If i knew then what I know now...
So lets see where shall I begin this week; at the part where I was covered in poo for 3 days, 8 hours in labor and delivery or perhaps at the point where I finally broke down and put on the granny panties?
Ok lets just go in order. Baby DIVA is still "potty training". And as I have learned as a getting fatter by the moment pregnant chick, this really never ends. (granny pantie story to come) So Baby DIVA took pretty fast to pantie wearing and pee pee in the potty. Poop in the potty, not so much. It became a nightmare. She would alert me, even at 2am via monitor, "Pee Pee Mama", but never would should she show one inkling on interest in alerting me to the dirty doo. She is more of a silent but deadly kind of girl. She slinked away and then would gracefully waltz by and let me inhale my notification.
Have you tried changing poopie panties? It sure isn't pretty, and it is plain out awful when you have a Critter2 tagging along for the ride whirling up your some special tummy gurgles and a very active toddler "telling you how" all the way through the process. Needless to say after 3 days of poopie pantie changes covering me in the doo at least twice a day, I broke down and committed my personal momma failure. I bought the pull ups and went against my original plan and stuck my kid in pull ups for potty training. Sue me! I am PREGZILLA and get to do what I want. I am the MOM!!! Im in charge and I am bigger than a poop turd. TAKE THAT! Wouldn't you know that very same day, Baby DIVA mastered the art of poop in potty, and we have not had a poo in the pants incident since. Awesome.
I caught a bug, along with everyone in this country dealing with the crazy weather. I caught a nasty little bug that brought on the "pregnant" sneezes and the coughs. All the momma's out there are cringing knowing what story is about to unfold now. The newly pregnant and non breeders are about to be privy to some information they never knew they didn't want, but need. I committed the sexy wife sin. (not to mention I am about to commit the TMI sin) I became so tired of sneezing and coughing in the "pregnant" way, that I went and stuffed my pregnant body into those granny panties, you know the ones. I was desperate I tell you, and I know I am not the only one who has reached this point before. And it was such a relief...for a little while at least, until my ego joined up to my desperation. H4L caught a glance at me sporting this new wardrobe accessory and just shook his head. I reminded him, it was HE who put me in this situation.
I had my first trip to L & D this week for Critter2. This is not a place I like to frequent. Really, I am thinking one visit to Labor and delivery is far more than enough, right? With my BP issues with Baby DIVA, I visited L&D all the time. I was hoping to keep Critter2 from falling into that same pattern. No such luck. But, good news is that this trip wasn't for bp issues and we left L&D knowing all is A okay.
I was having incredible pain in my gut. Not something a pregnant lady wants. And then the "Crotch daggers" set in. For those who don't speak pregnant talk, Crotch daggers are my term for contractions. I did the usual routine of lay down, relax, drink water, wait for contractions to stop and NADA. So I called the Dr like a good little patient and off he sent me to L&D. 8 long hours (alone though, without a tot in tow so very privileged boring alone time) many, many blood tests, watching a lady's water break in the waiting room, high blood pressure, hearing Critter2's heartbeat thumping softly in the background, it was determined that I look perfectly fine. Critter2 looks great. And I just need to suck it up and deal with the terrible pain. "its okay you are halfway there, only 20 weeks to go." It is obvious that the L&D Dr that advised me of this as I left, has never been pregnant. Just saying...
So I took my painful tummy home and that is that. We now just have pain. Awesome. Fun. Is it June yet?