Books. Books on shelves at various levels. Books on shelves at various levels in a quiet location. Not a good mix for Baby DIVA.
My little one has always been interested in books, but not really for reading. She loves to snack on them, tear the pages, flip the pages, wear them as hats, make them into flying carpets. Whatever, she is using her imagination so I roll with it. Over the last few weeks, Baby DIVA has sparked a interest in the actual words inside those flying carpets. She will bring me a book and we will sit down and read.
I love it. I have a passion for books, (although chasing a tot around 24/7 leaves little energy to actually hold my own book up and read), so this development made me really happy. I decided it was time to brave the library with Baby DIVA. We have toddler time at our local joint and I was thrilled to finally be able to attend with a story interested tot.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED!
My precious, quiet on the car ride, relaxed Baby DIVA and myself arrived at 10am prompt for toddler library time. We strolled inside and grabbed our tot ticket to story time. Then we headed over to the children's area to look at some books and see what craft they had for us to do. I am not sure what happened on this short walk, but Baby DIVA grew some horns. As we rounded the corner and entered the racks of kid books, her voice began to echo throughout the area. "Mama, Mama, Mama, Ca-Ca, Mama". So I thought perhaps she needed to take a crap. I asked her if she needed to go potty. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Mama" at full scream.
Attempting to distract her, we went over to the craft table and I tried to engage her in this activity. She proceeded to try and eat the glue stick, try to climb up over the top of the table, tried to steal craft pieces from other kids, all while squawking and mortifying me. Fail.
Then I pulled out the big guns and decided we should walk the racks, burn off some steam, hoping that this might bring my sweet quiet Baby DIVA back to reality. Off we went, hand in hand. And then she squirmed loose and was gone. Sprinting through the racks. My Fluffy pregnant self chased her down and found her attempting to scale the racks of My first Chapter books. AWESOME. Baby DIVA scurrying up the racks in the library. Yes, I am that mom. And might I add, quite memorable with hot pink hair. No hiding me!
A glance around the room at my fellow toddler moms, hoping to be met with looks of "oh honey, I have been there stares", was met with a surprise. Pure distaste looks from these fellow tot moms. Hatred. I am the devil with pink hair mom looks beamed my way. Like their tots are always perfect. Again though, Mortified.
I scooped up baby DIVA and headed back to the librarians desk to turn in our tot ticket. There was no way we were going to make it to story time, much less through story time without destroying something. The kind librarian asked me to please stay. That she had some toys to entertain my tot, and that she would eventually learn the ropes. I denied the offer and high tailed it out of the library. Glances from peering adults from the historical section on the opposite side of the library pretty much demonstrated I need to leave with my tot, PRONTO!!
Perhaps we will try again in a few months. Until then story time will be on my living room floor and might involve a nibble of pages and a timeout or two. Oh and did I mention as we drove home, Baby DIVA was a quiet perfect little princess? Don't you just love the terrible two's?
Oh and those moms who gave me the look of death, I hope your kid throws food at you tonight at dinner!