School Pick up line battles

Okay Moms! What is the freaking deal in the school pick up line? Are you seriously that anxious to get your child that you have to crash into one another? Get a grip dude! Enjoy the extra 60 seconds of car silence. Or tot screams, whatever the case may be in your hip mom ride.

I spent the summer with my fabulous big kid "rentals", Video dude and Sassy gal. Now, as back to school has arrived, I have the pleasure of spending more time with these fantastic kids. Every morning and afternoon we enjoy each others company as I tote them to and from school in my hip mom ride. I think it is awesome getting to hang with them pre and post class and its also practice for me in the upcoming years.

Yesterday was Day 1 of the 2010-2011 academic school year. Also day 1 of the school pick up line. You know what I am talking about moms. You have been there right? Well, ME, a first timer to this chaotic line, knew going into it that this week will be a bit less than organized. New kids, New school, First time parents doing the drill, I fully expected this crazy afternoon hoopla. What I did not expect was the CRAZY MOM BATTLES and F U type behavior displayed by other moms in their own hip mom rides in the race to sit and wait for their kids. WOW is all I can say.

Let me tell you about Day 1 afternoon pick up. H4L and I arrived at the school at 2:33pm. A lovely little letter taped to the "you must go this way" cones advised us we were unable to be in line until 2:35pm and please leave until said minute. So we did. We drove off around the block. During our little block run, the line begin to form as 2:35pm sharp came. So we slipped into line, or so we thought. Going by the map we accidentally went in the K-1 line instead of the 2-4 line. We made an adjustment in the parking lot and steered to the 2-4 line. We assumed we would slowly merge into the 2-4 line once the kids were released. I mean i was expecting to take over hip mom rides #7 spot I promise. I fully expected to be let in in a slow merge type way.

BOY WERE WE WRONG. We started a major feud in the parking lot. Holy Toledo these moms went ballistic. Slamming their cars into gear and flooring it the whole 2 inches into the back of the hip mom ride in front of them. Seriously! I am not kidding. Three (EVIL) mom rides would not let us in and in fact were so adamant about it that they preferred to get so close to one another that their cars touched back to front. AMAZING. I was stunned. H4L was furious. He yanked his seat belt off and was about to go and "discuss" the situation with these "I was here first" moms. I talked him down of course.

I guess some vindication did come however a few moments later when the "leader of the pack" of these moms had a car back up into her because she was in the way. AWESOME. And I was also found myself gloating a tad when my Big Kid rentals were escorted to my hip mom ride, 4 cars back before the EVIL mom rides kids were escorted out. HA! Take that Bitch!

Dirty little Bastards!

Last night we were violated. Violated in our own home, our own neighborhood by some little dirty bastards. Our Van (yes my new hip mom ride) got broken into. I am so less than impressed with the whole ordeal. This is the first time I have ever had this happen and I hope to never have it repeated.

At about 9am this morning, I took a stroll out the door to take the redbox movies back that we rented yesterday. I was kid free, she was hanging with H4L, and I was already plotting what kind of cool jams I was going to listen to on the short drive. I discovered my drivers side door open and thought, "Oh crapola, I left the door open all night. Poo! H4L is gonna be so mad at me. hope the car starts." Then it hit me. I didn't drive the van at all yesterday. Hmmmm...

I then peered in the vehicle and found that it had been ransacked, my few belongings strewn everywhere throughout the front seat. I also took notice that the passenger door was also wide open. Nice! Luckily no physical damage was done to the car. None of our belonging were stolen. I mean I really don't leave anything in the van anyway, well except my coupons, which they did rummage through and left in a mess, BRATS! I mean I guess if they needed some coupons, some stale goldfish and a week old grocery shopping list that my hot mom ride was the way to go. However it does not appear that is what these thief's were after. These guys seemed to be on a mission for cash and weapons only. Electronics and CD's were left in plain site in my car and H4L's and nothing was taken. We also discovered the little thief's hit over 50 cars in our neighborhood last night too. Seems they were only on the hunt for cash and weapons and left minimal damage to all vehicles.

I guess it is a good thing that nothing was taken and that minimal damage was done. But we still feel incredibly violated. The nerve, balls, audacity these people have creeping through our personal possessions, our personal property, so close to where my daughter, myself and H4L lay our heads down to sleep. I mean I am now terrified of what they may do next. Will they try and enter homes next? Will Baby DIVA be safe at night? Will they hit our cars again doing damage the next time?

After speaking with fellow neighbors and police I discovered this is not the first time this has occurred in our neighborhood, in our circle even. 3 weeks ago a very similar incident occurred to just as many vehicles in the circle. I had no idea. I was quite disturbed by not knowing this was going on in my neighborhood and sent a letter to the HOA immediately. I am hoping we can put a stop to this NOW!

It really bothers me that my fellow neighbors and I have to worry about of personal property, possessions and selves in the privacy of our own homes. It freaks me out thinking about how to keep my precious daughter protected from these individuals who take from other people, so clearly criminal manner. I hate that this has happened in our world, but I am thankful that there is no significant damage and that we are all safe.

Remember no where is safe anymore. Not even your own home.

No more dishes!!!

Sometimes I feel like a spoiled brat. In the age we live in we have appliances and devices to do just about everything for us. We have machines to curl our hair, machines to wash our clothes, boxes that keep our food cold, Flat boxes that hang on the wall and keep our minds captivated, the list can go on and on. Our parents and grandparents has to do a lot of these tasks by hand so to speak, and we as a society now could hardly imagine doing something like washing dishes BY HAND.
There is this one simple machine, that some may take for granted, some may not even think twice about, and some might not use so they can be "green". A machine that we don't have to have in our world but it sure does make life a little simpler. A machine that I have spent the last 6 months without, thinking I was being environmentally friendly.

The machine I speak of is The dishwasher.

The last 6 months our dishwasher has been broken. At first it wasn't a big deal. I simply conserved electricity and water and hand washed all of our dishes. I felt great. I was being a little green and helping out my friend mother earth. I felt in control of the amount of soapy scum and chemicals that were being shoveled into my family's mouth each day from our dishes. And then some more time passed. And more time passed. And then my fridge stopped being cold. Dang it! I had to call the repair folks to come and get this thing taken care of. I mean Baby DIVA has got to have cold milk and hot dogs for goodness sakes! I mean seriously! And why they are out I might as well have them take a look at that contraption there in the kitchen, perhaps I may need it in the coming months.

A quick call this morning to Mr. Fix It , and a an hour and a half later the lovely gentleman showed up at my house to fix my catastrophe. I was quite impressed with their punctuality and their quick response to my huge emergency. However, this is how I came to find out just how dumb some of us less than machine friendly people are AKA me. My personal Mr .Fix it technician diagnosed and fixed my problem in a matter of moments, on both handy little machines.

Problem with fridge: The freezer channel froze over, defrost it. Problem fixed.
Problem with dishwasher: The timer was stuck.

SIX MONTHS!!! SIX MONTHS!! I have been slaving over dirty dishes. Dipping my hands in nasty dish water and hand drying and...UGH!! Because the timer was stuck!!! L-O-S-E-R! Forget being green, I don't have to wash dishes anymore!! HOT DIGGITY DOG!

YEP! my friends, I am a DUMBASS!! Fortunately for me the lovely repair man didn't laugh...too hard. He fixed my problem, collected his dough, and bid me farewell. "Call again Mrs Pink Haired Momma, if you find any more problems.". Ya I am sure he wants me to call again. I basically handed him money. Maybe next time I can pay him to come open a window.

Yummy Summer Food

Its so stinking hot here right now. One can barely breath let alone eat. But you know for some reason we gotta eat to stay alive, or so I have been told. HA! Well I read somewhere, and I honestly I forgot where so to the fabulous person who came up with this treat, I am so sorry I don't remember where I read about your idea, but YOU ARE brilliant. I made your fabulous tomato pineapple salad!

Super delicious.

Slice tomatoes and slice pineapples. Layer them on a plate. Sprinkle with feta cheese and a tad salt and pepper. Eat. Yummy. simple. Light. Cool. and Delicious!

Parents Night Out

You will never believe what happened to H4L and I this weekend! We had our FIRST ever night out alone since Baby DIVA was born. Grandma came over and spent the night with our DIVA, while we hit the town and stayed out all night...at a hotel that is.

A comedian that both H4L and I find pretty funny, Carlos Mencia , came to our great city of Houston for one night and one show. He held a midnight showing at a local comedy club, Improv Houston . And let me tell you what, as a momma who has been out of the party goers loop for a few years, sporting PJ's as fancy dress at the local wal-mart, and tucking into bed no later than 10 pm on Friday nights, staying up for a show that began at midnight was a doozie. However keeping myself and H4L entertained and giggling by watching the youngin's strut their stuff in some killer heels, bling and attitude was more than enough fun to keep the old eyeballs propped open. We had the privilege of watching a chick sulk when the dude she was lusting after ran into possibly ummm his girlfriend. Ooops. We also enjoyed watching a young gal, who I might add did have some cool long triple color hair, gallivant all over the Imporv lobby out on a mission looking for someone anyone to be her friend and buy her a drink. Oh and lets not forget the fabulous guy in line beside us, who after the 2 hours we stood in line, our line neighbor hitting the bar about every 10 minutes, no longer could speak and yet continued to try. I do believe without this comic relief I may have curled up on the floor in my fashionable animal print dress and pink hair and took a snooze.



So anyway, H4L and I left Baby DIVA for the night. The first night ever. We were slightly panicked of course, as any parent would be. I expected full out tears and tantrums and that was just from me and H4L. Turns out SHE could care less. A quick wave and "bye" from Baby DIVA as she trotted off to grandma after shutting the door on our faces, left me feeling abandoned by my toddler. Saddened. What have I done wrong that she doesn't care that I am gone. Who am I kidding? That only lasted a moment and we were FREE!! After we checked into the hotel, a few phone calls possibly might have been made to check on Baby DIVA. Secretly I was hoping my tot was miserable without me. In reality she didn't even notice I was gone.


H4L and I broke our no eating out for the month of August challenge rule, just for this special occasion. I figured the night was worthy of the break in our challenge. A whole night without our child. A date for just me and H4L, yes cheating on our meal challenge was a necessary endeavor. We dined at Red Robin and started out with this lovely treat.

I must say it was incredibly fabulous to dine on a meal before it became cold and to not have to scrub the floor before leaving the restaurant. I had no idea burgers were so good warm and who knew that one could walk out of a place without crumbs dropping off them as that go. I appreciate the tiny things. Oh and of course it was amazing to have a full uninterrupted conversation with my husband. I almost forgot what that was like.

Carlos Mencia finally appeared on stage and began his comedic routine. The small cozy atmosphere of the Improv provided us with a very intimate view of Mencia. Although some folks may find him offensive, I believe he is honest and hysterical. He takes real life issues, real life drama from our world and puts humour on thoughts and visions the average person may have but is constrained by societal rules to ever blurt out loud. It was kind of refreshing to have a laugh at these issues knowing no repercussions would ensue. And what was even better, was doing so along side of my wonderful husband, toddler free!!

All in all this was an amazing Parents night out. A big thanks to my mom, grandma, for helping us make it happen. We needed the break. We needed the laughter. We needed the alone husband and wife time.

Painted toast

Baby DIVA hates bread. Wont touch the stuff. She will lick the PB&J off her bread and toss it back at me. Really! She is that hardcore about her dislike of bread.

Then the other day we were munching on garlic bread with dinner when we saw some little fingers fast approach our plate of delish bread. those little hands snagged a piece and devoured, I mean inhaled the garlic bread. This started my wheels a turning.

The next day I just happened to come across this fantastic blog Sunday Hotpants and found a lovely little post about Painted Toast. So I thought we would give it a try and see if Baby DIVA found it worthy enough to consume.

Here is what we did:
I took a few tiny bowls of milk and colored them with Neon food coloring. Then I took a simple white piece of bread and a never been used paintbrush and made an artistic piece for the DIVA. After painting I popped the sucker into the toaster, waited a few minutes and the POP out came the new breakfast masterpiece. I served it to Baby DIVA and to my delight she loved it! Who knew?!?

Free Fun out back

Back to school is right around the corner. Are the kids working your nerves? Are you looking for ways to entertain them, wear them out, get them outside outta your hair? Well I found some fun things to do with my crew that didn't cost a dime and kept the kids outside playing for hours! Followed by nice long naps from 7 year old video dude, 11 year old sassy gal and 20 month old Baby DIVA!! Which is precisely why I now have the time to blog about this! HA!


I rummaged around in the garage and found 3 buckets, 2 hula hoops, some rags, some twine, and some unused balloons. Hmmm???

I took two rags and rolled one into a ball, wrapped the other around the ball and secured with twine. I made 2 of these, one for each big kid. Then I filled the balloons with water, secretly of course. I let the kids watch an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba and I headed out to the backyard. I laid one hula hoop on each side of the yard, however within tossing distance for the kids. In each hoop I placed a bucket full of water and a rag thing. The water balloons were stashed away in a secret place.


Yo Gabba Gabba ended and the kids were enlightened to the fact that no more tv would grace their eyes the rest of the day. 911 was almost contacted, but luckily the kids managed and came outside. Each big kid was asked to stand inside of the hula hoop. I then let them "play".

A simple game of toss the rag into the bucket soon opened the door for a multitude of creative, use your imagination children's games all around the backyard. The kids, amazingly, had a blast for many hours just filling up buckets with water and tossing them on one another. No TV. No video games. WOW! Imagine that.

I did engage them in one fun activity. I filled up some water balloons. Then I had the two big kids stand back to back and I placed a very full water balloon between them. They had to work together and move around the backyard obstacle course without dropping or breaking the water balloon. They did great. And I must say it was awesome watching them try and work together! Other than me initiating a little here or there, the kids took off and invented all sorts of games themselves with the items we just had stashed in the garage! Free fun Rocks!

And Pink Haired Momma enjoyed the lovely nap time that followed, by ALL!

Crayons

Baby DIVA is not all that interested in coloring. The girl loves to paint...as evidence by the numerous pictures I have collected of her entire body covered from head to toe in anything you can imagine. Paint, Pudding, Yogurt, Mashed taters, Marker. That's my girl!!

I don't know if she will ever be a crayon color in the coloring book kind of gal. H4L picked up a GIANT coloring book to try and stimulate her senses. FAIL. I have given her all kinds of papers, coloring books, dry erase boards, chalk boards, drive ways, and honestly she could care less.

She could care less that is until she finds a lonely little crayon that was playing hide n go seek under that couch, from Pink Haired Momma and the ziploc it lives in. Well Baby DIVA's painters hands grabbed a hold of that lonely little crayon and found her muse...she went to town on my tile floors.

Awesome! Luckily since I border on being a helicopter mom, she was only allowed to get creative for a mere moment or so before the muse was put to rest. Not too much damage done at all. Tears and fits ensued as the lonely crayon was reunited with his kin folk. Boo hoo. Hours later there was still no interest in crayons. Oh well. I guess we will bust out the paint in the yard again.

Squash Pizza

It is August! Remember this post? When I told you H4L and were going to eat every single meal in, no trips to the drive thru, not eating out, no donuts. Remember??

Well so far we are doing fabulous! We rock!! And I have a yummy recipe to share with you that we tried. It kept us from ordering pizza, so you know it must be good.

What you need:
1 butternut squash, baked until soft and cut into cubes
2 cups cubed chicken
1 purple onion cut into smallish pieces
minced garlic (you will use as much as feel necessary, we like lots)
butter
pizza crust

Heading in to the Oven

What you do:
Roll out pizza crust and cover with a bit of butter and lots of minced garlic.
Bake in the oven at 400 for about 5 minutes and then remove.
Add the cubed chicken and squash and purple onion in no particular order but evenly placed on pizza crust.
Return to oven and bake for about 15 minutes or so, until crust is browned and crunchy.
Remove from oven, slice up and devour!!

YUMMY! Ready to munch!

Wordless Wednesday

Young Picasso's!

A refreshing sneak

I hate water. Its bland and boring. So not something that a PINK haired momma would desire. But I guess I am a bit a of a hypocrite, because as I slam more Green Monster from a snazzy goblet, I harp on the kids to drink more water, because it is good for them. You know the ropes: Do as I say not as I do. Teehee

So last week I attempted to make a refreshing treat to add to water, in hopes of getting not only the kids to drink it but me too. I took fresh blueberries and placed about 3-4 in each cube of an ice tray. To each cube I also added a splash of lime juice and a dribble of honey. Filled the tray with water and froze. A few hours later the refreshing cubes were popped into all of our water glasses...

Not a drop left. SCORE! A refreshing sneak!

Migraines and Hormones

As if women don't have enough issues to bitch about; you know bloat, hair growing in strange places, muffin top hide n go seek. It has now been brought to my attention yet another hormone induced evil attack against the woman!

MIGRAINES!

Turns out that Estrogen can cause some women to have these lovely earth rattling little demons, not only once a month but twice. Once for menstruation and once again at ovulation. So it seriously surprises me how folks can get knocked up. I mean what woman out there is gonna say "Hun I got a headache lets get busy." Whatever.

Screw hormones man!

Savvy Tot school Revisited

Remember when Baby DIVA was knee deep in Savvy Tot school and I would share with you all her "learning"? Ya well she was not so interested so we kind of put it on hold. Now a few months later Baby DIVA is beginning to show an interest again in this whole Tot learning stuff, so I am back on the wagon, cutting with unsharp toddler scissors, gluing things on paper in no particular order and eating play dough. It is fabulous!

We still have a structure but I would have to say it is a loose learning style. I built a huge arsenal for any moment that the learning mood might strike. There is a "fun" basket at Baby DIVA's reach that I have placed numerous homemade learning games and activities. Whenever she feels the need she sprints right on over and brings me a Ziploc full of the game she wants to play. She has her choice of various activities such as playing with clocks to building foam houses. Its pretty cool if I do say so myself.

Honestly she doesn't play exactly how the items should be utilized as of yet, but it is coming. For example, she really enjoys taking the color crayon matching game in and out of the Ziploc instead of laying them out and matching the colors. Oh well I say. We improvise and instead just talk about the colors as she takes them in and out and in and out and in and out over and over until Oops the baggie goes "night night". You know what I am talking about. I know you do. Don't tell me that Brown Bear, Brown Bear book hasn't taken a 3 day slumber on occasion.

Does your tot like to play these games? What stuff do you have going on to teach and play your tots?

Koolaid Head

You know I got pink hair. There is NO denying it, hiding it or anything along those lines. So what to do when the tots in your life inquire about coloring their own heads a variety of colors?!? I can't exactly say "No! mature people don't do that", because ummm HELLO I did it and I am supposed to be the mature adult in their life. Hmmm, so what to do?

How about a Koolaid party? Koolaid doesn't do damage to their hair, and will wash out before schools starts! Hot diggity Dog! And by using Koolaid we can still keep this fun loving wild hair dying color experience kid friendly and they can still understand it is fun and should be done responsibly. LOL Off we went to the store to pick out our new hair dye!

We started by mixing up 2 packages of unsweetened koolaid (per color) with a bit of hair conditioner and water. Not too much as we want to make a paste, not a drink. You might need to wear rubber gloves to apply this to the kids hair, you don't want rainbow fingers, or perhaps you do. Rainbow fingers could be cool. However if you have to go out in the real world at some point you might really want to consider the gloves. Also take some Vaseline and wipe the kids faces around the hairline and ears, I know from experience ( I will not reveal if it is from my own pink hair experience or perhaps I might have forgot to Vaseline the kids, nope I wont tell you how I know this to be true) that these places absorb color! I know the kids might be monsters, but in all reality we don't want our precious monsters walking around with stained blue faces now do we? Okay Okay I know it can rustle up a giggle in our imaginary minds thinking of this, but PEOPLE we are responsible parents now. Mature parents at that!

So we have lathered the kids in Vaseline, are sporting some stylish rubber gloves, have mixed up the koolaid concoction and are ready to rock and roll. Decide where you want to place the color. I suggest to do either the whole head or perhaps some thick strips around the face, makes the application process pretty easy. We opted for Blue thick strips around Sassy Gals face and a rainbow of color on one side of Video Dudes head. Baby DIVA napped...she is not a "Kool" mature kid yet. Stayed tuned next summer.

Apply the color evenly and carefully, it is sticky so beware. Once you have applied the color wrap the area up in saran wrap and wait...and wait...and wait...for many hours. We waited about 5 hours. I also know for older kids this can be done before bed and they can sleep in the saran wrap, I opted to do this project at breakfast and remove color after lunch, just me though. So after waiting the 5 hours we rinsed and washed the hair. And you might want to mention this waiting process to the kids before you apply the koolaid, just saying.

Sassy Gal is sporting a fabulous shade of blue that took beautifully to her lightened by the summer sun blond hair. Video Dude has a shade darker of blond and therefore is remaining mysterious with just a hint of rainbow color revealed in a subtle hue as he stalks about the house. Both came out fabulous and the kids LOVE it!

Watch out!! Momma on the loose

It has happened. I have finally crossed over. The once thin (hahahahah long ago), perky boob, hang out the top of a convertible with a chocolate martini in hand has traded in the keys for some fluff, large floppy boobs, and BRACE YOURSELF...

A VAN!

Yep. I am now the proud owner and driver of a Chrysler Town and Country Mom ride. It is wonderfully spacious (fat ass approved), the kids (the rentals that is, i didn't pop out another yet, just Baby DIVA is blessed with my blood, for now anyway) don't have touch in the car. No imaginary brick walls have to be drawn. I am able to retain my full voice, no more yelling "stay on your side of the line" at the backseat. I can load up every toy we have, just in case that is the ONE the DIVA needs to silence the screams in the line of wherever we are at the moment. I love it. Mom ride is fantabulous!

Oh and moms night out, in the VAN, is in the works. Valet the mom ride. Hot fluffy chicks in tow for a martini night. Katy bars Watch out! MOMS IN VANS on the loose!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Nothing says summer like chalk on a sidewalk...

And painting ones leg with chalk

Peace! My work here is done!

Beans Beans Beans the more you eat...

The more you toot! hahahaha

Just kidding. Beans are a fabulous source of protein, and in many cases are super dooper CHEAP. I have been experimenting lately with all forms of bean recipes in order to expand of food consumption options and continue to shrink our food purchasing expenses. This week we worked with red beans and have a lovely little recipe to share!

I will call it Cheap Bean Noodle thingy! HA!

You need:

2 cans red beans, drained but save juice

Bread crumbs

1 egg

spices: i didn't measure them i went by taste

Basil

Paprika

Salt

Pepper

Fresh minced garlic

Oil

2 packages of Ramen Noodles

Shredded Mozzarella

Some red sauce (tomato based that you enjoy)

What to do:

Smoosh the beans all up in the blender, (you may need to add bean juice during this process a little at a time), add the egg and smoosh some more. Then dump bean mixture into a bowl and slowly add in breadcrumbs 1/4 cup at a time until a paste forms. Once a nice paste consistency has formed goo up your hands with some lube (butter, pam whatever) and form the paste into patties. Then sprinkle the patties with breadcrumbs and basil. Hopefully you will have already been heating the oil in a frying pan so you can get started, but if you are like me and didn't then i suggest getting that done now. So once oil is ready place patty in pan and cook until browned. While these puppies are cooking you may go ahead and boil water for the Ramen noodles. If you versed in Ramen Noodles you know they cook really quick, like 3 minutes, so this wont take long. :)

Once you have fried all the Bean Patties to a brownish color and not burned down the house, you can then drain the noodles and begin to "plate" your cheap ass dinner. Place noodles in a bowl. Place a patty on top with shredded Mozzarella and Red sauce. Give a bowl and a fork to each member of your family and VOILA Cheap Bean Noodle Thingy!

It did taste pretty yummy!

A month food challenge

H4L has agreed to take on a month long challenge with me. A month long challenge? Sound scary? Depends on the challenge huh?

We are going to take on the challenge to not eat out a single paid for meal during the month of August. That is right! All breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks, midnight hunts for ice cream, all of it, will only be ingested if I have purchased it during one of our regular grocery store runs. No quick trips for a pint of yummy ice cream, no slips on the diet for a taco run at jack in the crack. Nope! Nada! Zilch!

H4L will be packing not only his lunch but also his breakfast when he travels off to work. We will be only eating food at home for every meal for 31 days. I'm very excited about this. I have just about mastered coupon shopping, meal planning, and OAMC. Now I am taking it to the next level and trying to come up with unique tasty delights that will keep myself and my family eager for more healthy home cooking without fast food or restaurant dining.

Have you ever done this? Do you live this way? Do you have any tasty meal ideas to share?