Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Family relationships

Its no secret or lie that I am not all that family oriented. Sure now that I have Baby DIVA and Hubbs-to-be I am all about "MY" little family. But as far as staying in contact with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and so forth I don't really participate. We are just not a close nit group, and I really don't feel bad about it. Years of back stabbing, manipulative behaviors and just plain meanness have led me to make the choices that I believe are the best decisions for me. I have my family, this is the family of my choosing, my dearest friends. I am a victim of the current society viewpoints, and I do not believe that blood is thicker than water. I do not think just because you are related you should be forced to enjoy one another company. I think you should surround yourself only with those who find intriguing and who you honestly enjoy being around. You should have relationships with people who make you happy and bring goodness to your life, not those who drag you down or cause pain in your life. My personal feelings, however do not stop me from wanting Baby DIVA to meet her "family". I am not going to pass my personal beliefs on to my child. Instead I will teach her to grow up and make her own decisions. I will keep her safe from any severe hardships and provide her with the intellect to make choices for the best in her own life. In relation to this topic I have been working really hard to engage Baby DIVA in relationships with relatives on my side of the family that I have no relationship with. It has been rewarding and annoying for me, but absolutely wonderful for my daughter. Some doors have been opened while others are slamming shut for these relationships, nonetheless I am doing what I can for the best for my child.

Over the last year, I have been in contact with my older brother via email. We have not had any real contact since I was about 11 years old. Parental divorces, parental fighting, our own child perceptions have placed a cloud over our relationship. Now as adults however, we are free to communicate at our own pace and talk about our histories with open minds, as we would like to be part of each others life. Throughout my pregnancy and Baby DIVA's first 10 months, we have had a relationship bloom via the web. It has been awesome, as young as the relationship is. My brother is a military man and is not here in the states too often. Last week brother made a quick trip home to the USA and just happened to have a stop here in Houston. Baby DIVA and myself were lucky enough to be on his To Do list. It really was awesome seeing him in person for the first time in many, many, many years. And me, the non family oriented Pink Haired Momma quite Freak found it heart warming. Especially seeing him with his niece, Baby DIVA.

I am amazed sometimes what new life can do. Baby DIVA has changed every aspect of my life, including my views on family relationships. I truly am moving more and more into a domesticated lifestyle that I never thought I would embrace.


  1. Your post touched my heart. Amen for surrounding ourselves with positive people that we enjoy being with.

  2. I loved this post, I ave 'issues' around my own family so I know what thats like. Glad you have started to get a relationship with your bro. xx

  3. Dawn
    thank you. positive people really do make the world spin round!

  4. Pixie
    Families are so hard to to untangle. I have all kinds of issues and drama with mine. The one thing that motherhood has taught me so far is how to work through these issues and become a "grown up" in order to teach my daughter how to be a better person than I am. Motherhood, it is amazing and does great things to people!!


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