THE BACK OF THE COUCH AND LANDED ON HER HEAD ON THE TILE FLOOR!!!!!!
I am such a horrible mom. Why wasn't I watching? How did she fall? OMG!! I am terrible to have looked away for less than one minute! And how is it that a kid can get into so much trouble during that less than 30 seconds you are not looking at them? HUH? Do they plot and plan and wait till you turn and look the other way? Okay, mom has turned her head for 5 seconds, now its time to dive bomb off the couch!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!
I felt like the worst parent on the face of the planet. I saw her falling over the couch from across the room (a whole 5 steps) and I think I even got to her about the same time she hit the floor. But I still felt like hell because I did not have my supermom powers in full working order, I did not reach her in time. I scooped her up with the quickness as tears raced from her eyes. Grabbed the phone and starting dialing the peds office, dumbass it was closed. Hung up. Dialed my mom. No answer. Gosh dangit! Called one of my best friends who has lots of practice with falling kids, no answer! AHHHHHHHHHHH. Meanwhile as I am panicked (and yes I did do a complete check of her head, no blood, no breaks, no marks, nada), Baby DIVA has fully composed herself and is sitting in my arms looking at me like I am smoking crack or something. She has this look of "mom seriously what is your deal" on her face, followed by some baby chuckles.
So okay she is fine. No problem. I still felt like I deserved worst mom in the world award. I still watched her every move for the next FOREVER making sure she was okay. I could be found saying things like, "oh my she looked at that toy a bit too long, do you think she is injured from her fall?" or " oh my she didn't eat all her dinner maybe she has a brain injury, should we call the doctor?" Seriously, I am sick in the head. H4L was not pleased with my aftermath behavior. Even making this post took some time. I mean this "incident" occurred on Thanksgiving morning. I couldn't share my horrible mom story with you until now.
Now I have doctored up the living room, Matt's and pillows and blankets cover the floor behind the couch! Supermom is back in action. Never to be without Pink Hair and a super cape ever again!