Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mr. Toilet is not my friend

I spent a good portion of my glorious pregnancy with Baby DIVA making friends with Mr. Toilet. Seriously, he was my best friend from about 6 weeks into pregnancy until about 7 months, a brief break in our friendship occurred but then we rekindled our deep relationship during labor and delivery. Nice. Well living the life of the woman who bows to Mr. Toilet became so normal to me that now 9 months later a simple jaunt to Mr. Toilet every few days just seemed as normal as brushing my teeth (well if you are a follower of my blog Here, you know that Pink Haired Mommahood doesn't always involve a daily brushing!)

Well on Tuesday this every few days visit to Mr. toilet took a turn for the worse. I visited Mr. Toilet after lunch and brushed it off as normal. Then dinner rolled around and Mr. Toilet summoned me once again. Then the GIANT pickle I snacked on during the Birthday outing Hubbs-to-be and I took to the movies resulted in yet another call from Mr. Toilet. Not so normal. Not so fun. I was even more surprised to awaken Wednesday morning to the sounds of Mr. Toilet YELLING at me to come and see him quite quickly.

Hubbs-to-be decided it was best for him to go ahead and stay home, with the barked orders at me that once and for all I go to the doctor and determine why it is Mr. Toilet and I can not seem to end or relationship. I am so glad he stayed home on Wednesday. I threw up constantly. Nothing stayed down. I tried water, sprite, topo chico, pedialytle (Yep I stole it from My Baby DIVA), crackers, you name it and nothing worked. Mr. Toilet called and reclaimed it all. My Doctor was able to squeeze me in late morning. A quick push on the tummy, a stick in the arm to steal some of my blood, and a little teetee in a nice plastic cup later, Doctor lady sent me on my way with some nausea medicine and said she would call me with the results. The theories upon my departure about why Mr. Toilet and I are such great pals were the following: ulcer, intestinal blockage, or gallbladder issues. Hmmmm that's not scary!

Now of course the day was not full of Mr. Toilet moments. My embarrassing moment of the day was in fact a doozie that I wish would have involved Mr. Toilet. So we arrive at my doctor's clinic. I tried really hard not to throw up all the way to the clinic. I could hear Mr. Toilet beckoning me off in the far distance as we parked the car; but i knew i would not make it to see him. I raced out the door and into the bushes nearest the car. Well due to the loud shouts from Mr. Toilet summoning me, I did not take notice to my full bladder (which I still am wondering how it was so dang full because i was a tad dehydrated, Hello dehydration would have been nice about right then). So I threw up right there in the parking lot butt sticking up in the air from the bushes! And then i peed all over myself right there in that parking lot from the force of throwing up and because of my full bladder. Lovely, let me tell you, just lovely and wonderful. I am a 30 year old pink haired momma with no make up on and I just puked in the parking lot and peed all over myself. Can it get any worse? Believe it or not, but YES, it does get worse.

Hubbs-to-be, Baby DIVA, and my Pink Haired or rather Puke Pee haired momma self go in the clinic and proceed with the normal appointment. At the end of my appointment is where it gets better. As i get up to leave the little bed thingy with the white paper on it that you sit on at the doctor, I glance back and see that my wet pants have left a nice gigantic butt mark in pee on the paper. MORTIFYING!!! Just give me my prescription and send me puking on my way!!!

So Wednesday was a full day of mortification and Mr. Toilet discussions. Today Thursday I awoke and still felt horrible. Hubbs-to-be went ahead and stayed at home again today because me not having food or drink for well over 48 hours now does not result in good mom behavior to take care of a very active 9 month old! About mid day the medicine began to kick in and I was able to hold down a whole cracker. A little while later a glass of pedialtye stayed down quite nice. Then a sprite. And then, don't laugh, a tuna fish sandwich. I know weird choice, but it worked quite well.

Then the Doctor gave me a little ring a ding ding and alerted me to the cause of my problem. Apparently I have a stomach infection known as H. Pylori. HUH? That was not even on the little list of possibles she gave me. What the heck is that? Well a quick google search and some questions to the doctor let me know that H. Pylori is a bacteria infection that in some people can develop into ulcers or stomach cancer. AHHHHHH! Figures! Right? Oh and it is spread through saliva and fecal matter. Yum. Guess which way I contracted it. hahah

Anyway H. Pylori can be cleared up with medicine and I should be just fine. However my ego is quite bruised from the humiliation that came about during the whole ordeal. I am sore from so many Mr. Toilet visits, but I am feeling so much better already and so happy to be able to eat and drink again. Hubbs-to-be is too. He said my head spun around once or twice during the last few days. LOL!

Also a note to momma's out there. After you have a baby morning sickness should go away! If you are still visiting good ol' Mr. Toilet, GO TO THE DOCTOR. I got yelled at so I am yelling at you too!!


  1. Oh no!!! Well I'm glad you're feeling better - and thanks for sharing your mortification so we could get a *little* chuckle. I was just waiting for you to be like, "I'm preggo!" ;)

  2. Ugh gotta love the throw-up and pee combo! That's happened to me before and it's so embarrassing. Hell I still pee when I sneeze to hard, yeah fun stuff. I hope you start feeling better soon.

  3. Chelsea! I was concerned about being preggo. We took a test and everything. I was going to be so mad bc we are being so careful and really want to wait until after our wedding!! lol and the *little* chuckle is just classic Pink Haired Momma incidents. Do you remember when I was pregnant and went to the mens restroom in Walmart throwing a fit about the "rude" man in the womans restroom? I shared that story on our board. Again Classic Pink Haired Momma incident!!

  4. Rikki!
    Yep the throw up pee combo is awful. not too bad when you are home bc a shower and change of clothes are so easy. out in public at the doctor, just mortifying. Funny though, NOW, to share with everyone...well now that my pants are clean and dry!!


Tell me something Fabulous...

Blog Widget by LinkWithin